Posts Tagged ‘twitter’

If Twitter is a Project Manager, Part 3

2 July 2009

Twitter Project ManagerIf Twitter is a project manager, her tweets will look like the ones below.

@sponsor How did you come up with the deadline without first defining the scope?

“Adding more resources will just make your project take longer” P. M. Sage #quote

@peon WBS isn’t an emoticon with a W before it.

RT @PM2 Can I earn #PDUs for assassinating incompetent team members in Mafia Wars? #pmot

http://twitpic.com/tahduh – must see @sponsor picture after our “discussions”

#FF is not #FollowFriday; I meant to say finish-to-finish.

Don’t send me your resume, I was asking for a cost variance.

@BA Please send me the RACI matrix and NOT your pictures from Spring break.

@SportsFan Did you see that Backward Pass?

Bottom-up Estimating: It is not what you are thinking.

I became a Project Manager because I don’t like the opposite of Functional Manager.

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If Twitter is a Project Manager, Part 2

1 July 2009

Twitter Project ManagerIf Twitter is a project manager, she’ll use TweetDeck instead of Microsoft Office Project to monitor and control the project. TweetLater will send auto DMs to remind followers of upcoming tasks, deliverables and milestones. Occasional tweet-ups will be the norm for remote team members.

Her following list will include the project sponsor, steering committee members and “governance folks” that she may not care about. Although some of her followers would want to connect with her via Facebook and LinkedIn, she is not afraid to block followers for spamming her with change requests.

Twitter Grader will be used as a performance appraisal tool for project team members so that they will get a score with no explanations on how it was derived. Based on the score, only high performers will be invited into the elite twibe, and Facebook and LinkedIn groups.

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If Twitter is a Project Manager

30 June 2009

Twitter Project ManagerHer projects will be widely popular in the media; whales will line up as project sponsors; and funding will be provided despite the lack of a plausible project management plan. Stakeholders will speak succinctly, frequently and highly about her projects.

The project scope statement will be limited to 140 characters or less. #Hashtags and hyperlinks may be added as needed. Everything else is out of scope unless explicitly stated in the project limitations management plan. Other than delete, there is no change management plan.

The project communications management plan will only include unscheduled tweets, RTs, @messages and DMs. #FollowFriday will replace the weekly status updates. Pictures of the WBS will be posted using TwitPic. Meetings will be via UStream accompanied by real-time tweets. Projects will be delivered in 140 calendar days or less with a cost variance of +/- $140.

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Are you a dinosaur project manager?

14 March 2009

Certified Dinosaur Project Manager (CDPM)There are 25 statements below. Give yourself the following points for each statement:

0 – Do not agree
1 – Agree or somewhat agree
2 – Do not understand or unsure

Be very honest and rate each statement truthfully. Do not skip a statement. As a project manager, you:

  1. Write a project charter using a word processor
  2. Manually transform scope into requirements
  3. Manage project risks using a spreadsheet
  4. Primarily use dashboards to share weekly status
  5. Use sticky notes (Post-it®) to create a WBS
  6. Share project documentation on network drives
  7. Your team cannot access issue logs anywhere
  8. Perform brainstorming sessions using a whiteboard
  9. Use e-mail then phone to quickly get answers
  10. Do not use three-point estimating all the time
  11. Have not used a wiki for knowledge management
  12. Do not have a LinkedIn or Twitter account
  13. Have not used Skype on a conference call
  14. Have not recorded a conference call
  15. Believe in triple-constraints (scope, time and cost)
  16. Have not heard of the PMBOK® Guide 4th Edition
  17. Think that PRINCE2 is a new music album
  18. Know that CBAP® (“c-bop”) is the latest PRINCE2® dance move
  19. Do not know the latest versions of PMI standards
  20. Have not heard of CAPM®
  21. Have not heard of PMP®
  22. Have not heard of PgMP®
  23. Have not heard of PMI-RMP℠
  24. Have not heard of PMI-SP®
  25. Cannot be away from the office for more than one week

If you scored 20+, you are a Certified Dinosaur Project Manager (CDPM)! If you scored 15-19 points, it will not be long before you earn the CDPM designation. If you scored 10-14 points, you need to upgrade your skills. If you scored lower than 10 points, good for you!

  1. Write a project charter using a word processor—use Mindjet’s MindManager and export the mind map into Microsoft Word
  2. Manually transform scope into requirements—use Mindjet’s MindManager, Compuware’s Optimal Trace or IBM Telelogic DOORS and then export the contents into Microsoft Word
  3. Manage project risks using a spreadsheet—use Palisade @Risk or some other software
  4. Primarily use dashboards to share weekly status— In Microsoft Office SharePoint Server 2007, there is a feature called “My Site” and the discussion board can be used as a Wall (similar to Facebook). A special thank you to my Filipino friend, former colleague and SharePoint expert Dux. You can use MBWA too (Management by Wandering Around).
  5. Use sticky notes (Post-it®) to create a WBS—use WBS Chart Pro from Critical Tools. Mindjet’s MindManager will work also but I prefer the bidirectional feature of WBS Chart Pro.
  6. Share project documentation on network drives—we use SharePoint but you can use Google Docs too
  7. Your team cannot access issue logs anywhere—we use NetResults Tracker, a web-based collaboration tool
  8. Perform brainstorming sessions using a whiteboard—use Mindjet’s MindManager
  9. Use e-mail then phone to quickly get answers—we use Microsoft Office Communicator but you can also use Yahoo! Messenger, Google Talk, etc.
  10. Do not use three-point estimating all the time—this is a built-in feature of Microsoft Office Project. Use it to make your estimates more accurate.
  11. Have not used a wiki for knowledge management—Why not?
  12. Do not have a LinkedIn or Twitter account—Why not?
  13. Have not used Skype on a conference call—Why not?
  14. Have not recorded a conference call—I use OnConference (records slides and voice). Other alternatives include WebEx and GoToMeeting with Camtasia.
  15. Believe in triple-constraints (scope, time and cost)—that is like, so, yesterday! Read the new PMBOK® Guide 4th Edition.
  16. Have not heard of the PMBOK® Guide 4th Edition—Where have you been in the past year or so?
  17. Think that PRINCE2 is a new music album—no it is not!
  18. Know that CBAP® (“c-bop”) is the latest PRINCE2® dance move—no it is not! Now, I know why your project requirements are so screwed up.
  19. Do not know the latest versions of PMI standards—Go to pmi.org and update your knowledge!
  20. Have not heard of CAPM®—Go to pmi.org and update your knowledge!
  21. Have not heard of PMP®—Go to pmi.org and update your knowledge!
  22. Have not heard of PgMP®—Go to pmi.org and update your knowledge!
  23. Have not heard of PMI-RMP℠—Go to pmi.org and update your knowledge!
  24. Have not heard of PMI-SP®—Go to pmi.org and update your knowledge!
  25. Cannot be away from the office for more than one week—You mean you do not have remote access?

Please click here to share your results.

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Posted in Business Analysis, Project Management | 3 Comments »